People get drunk
They hook up with the wrong person
And pretend to be okay
People act tough
And get mad
People will do anything to distract their heart.
They will do anything to distract it from missing someone.
kissing is great
but wow when you get to kiss someone you have feelings for and you’ve wanted to kiss them for the longest time and you get to stroke their face and you’re so aware of their body and how nice their lips feel
when you were born, you didn’t cry.
mom and dad were scared for you. i had never seen them so frantic before.
you were very red, with thick strawberry colored hair,
which was strange to see
looking at the raven hair on mom and dad’s, on my own, head.
i wasn’t scared for you, i didn’t know i was supposed to be. i thought you were brave.
the first time i held you, you were so quiet.
even to this day, you don’t speak much, but you don’t see the gentle strength you carry, and it kills me.
you have always been the pretty one in the family,
the rust hued haired girl with freckles
and a big heart.
hunter. the girl with a name that is the opposite of her.
a girl so peaceful, so caring with animals that every time i say your name
i see more and more love in you than i saw the last time i said it.
you don’t think you have any talents,
but you have a way with softness
that is extraordinary.
you are very much like water.
you think i don’t notice the weight falling off,
the way your bones are starting to protrude like teeth,
the way you constantly grab at your stomach when you think i’m not looking.
you don’t think i’ve seen the bloody razors in your room
or the way you’ve become even more quiet,
don’t think i can feel you slipping through my fingers.
i can feel it. it scares me.
i don’t know what you are thinking when you are staring out of
the car window
or when you are sliding that razor over your skin
or skipping meals
but i am here for you, desperately.
your quietness never used to frighten me but these days it terrifies me."
i’m that friend that has to walk behind the group when the path isn’t big enough. i’m that friend that gets cut off in the conversation. i’m that friend that gets left behind when i asked for them to wait for me. i’m that friend that doesn’t get invited to hang out alot. i’m that friend that if i want to go to the mall or some place with a friend i have to be the one to invite people to make sure i get included. i’ll always be that friend.
What if you wake up one morning and you’re in bed with the love of your life and they have their arm around you and their snoring like a fucking ass hole, but you can’t help but to smile and you hear a baby crying and it finally hits you, you’ve made it.
you beat the demons inside you, the voices, the darkness.
I look forward to that, to knowing I made it.
this deserve so many notes